"The Helmsman's Logs - 2372" [PG-13] - Part I

I am continuing with the saga of Lieutenant Tom Paris' personal experiences with the Voyager crew, in the Delta Quadrant. This covers Season 2 episodes from "Initiation" to "Basics, Part 1". 

----------

"THE HELMSMAN'S LOGS - 2372"

RATING: [PG-13]
SUMMARY: The second in a collection of Tom Paris' personal logs during Voyager's seven years in the Delta Quadrant. Part 2 focuses upon the ship's second year, 2372.
FEEDBACK:  I would appreciate constructive feedback. Thank you.
DISCLAIMER: Tom Paris and all other characters related to Star Trek Voyager belong to Paramount, Viacom, Rick Berman, the Roddenberry family and other Trek producers.


Part I

STARDATE 49000.95 - Aaaagh! Shit! I've got the worse hangover! I never thought anyone could get a hangover from synthehol. Hell, I haven't had one since my days with the Maquis and that was with real alcohol. Poor Marie was still unconscious when I left her quarters, this morning. Oh well. At least we had one hell of a party. Too bad all of us weren't able to enjoy it. Tuvok wasn't there. And B'Elanna left the party before the New Year. Too bad. The party became even wilder after she left. In fact, I have to say this was one of the best New Year parties I have ever attended. End personal log.

STARDATE 49004.6 - We nearly lost Harry, today. While making a polaron scan, his shuttle accidentally intersected a time stream. Harry would have been killed from a warp-core breach, if Torres had not transported him to the ship in time. After we retrieved him, he asked if I was aboard the ship. Strange. He said something even odder after he appeared on the Bridge. "I owe you one." Now, what did he mean by that? End personal log.

STARDATE 49013.63 - Harry told B'Elanna and me a strange tale, this evening. Only, it wasn't really a tale. That time stream that Harry had intercepted, sent him to an alternate reality. A reality where neither of us ended up on Voyager.

Harry told us that in the other reality, he served in the Starfleet Corps of Engineering and lived with his fiancée in San Francisco. Lucky bastard. It seems my alter ego never made it aboard Voyager, especially after I . . . I mean, he got into a fight with that Ferengi bartender on Deep Space Nine. Alternate Tom was pardoned on Stardate 48702 - three months short of my full sentence. I, or he ended up as drunken barfly in Marsailles. When Harry told us this - most reluctantly, I may add - not even B'Elanna could look me in the eye.

In the end, even Harry ran into hot water after visiting a known "Maquis sympathizer" - namely me - and accessing classified files about Voyager. Those idiots at Starfleet Command accused him of spying for the Maquis. Harry found out about the time stream accident from an extra-dimensional intelligence named Cosmo. Assigned to watch over Harry after the accident, Cosmo eventually gave Harry the coordinates to return to the right timeline. And Harry would have never accomplished this without help from Libby and Alternate Tom. I may add that my alternate ego died in a shuttle core breach just seconds after helping Harry return to our time. Poor bastard. Makes me appreciate my life aboard Voyager even more.

B'Elanna asked Harry why he didn't remain in that alternate life, when given the chance. It seemed he couldn't live with his friend, Danny Byrd, being unnecessarily stuck aboard Voyager. Or me, wasting my life away at Sandrine's. Poor Harry. He gave up so much in the name of friendship. And to right a wrong. That's Starfleet for you. I hope he never changes. End personal log.

STARDATE 49045.55 - The Captain has finally approved my 
suggestion to conduct flying lessons for members of the crew 
outside of the Conn Division. So far, only five crewmen have 
volunteered. Harry, of course; Mike Ayala; a Bajoran named Tal 
Celes; Sue Nicoletti and Kes. I noticed that my good buddy, 
B'Elanna, failed to volunteer. She claimed that Engineering took 
too much of her time. Right! Tell me something new. The truth is 
that she can't bear to drag herself out of Engineering for 
anything other than meals and sleep.

As for Kes - well, I didn't really expect her to volunteer. A 
part of me felt elated. Another part of me dreaded the lessons. 
I mean, c'mon! Kes and me inside a small shuttle, together? 
I don't know if I would be able to keep my hands off her. 
End personal log.

STARDATE 49053.37 - I am so pissed! That goddamn warthog! (Takes 
a deep breath) Okay, I'm calm. How to start from the beginning?

Well for one, I finally admitted my feelings about Kes - to 
Harry, of course! I sure as hell didn't confess to Kes. Even 
when I had the opportunity. It was those damn flying lessons! I 
knew those lessons would be a problem. Watching her face lit up 
as she attempted to maneuver the shuttle (in Holodeck Two, of 
course) through one of the simulations I had created. And then 
she fell right into my arms . . . It's a damn good thing I have 
great restraint, or I would have tried to seduce her right there 
on the spot.

That little shuttle lesson became the breaking point for me. I 
had to tell someone. Who better than my good friend, Harry Kim? 
When we arrived in the Mess Hall for lunch, I felt relieved that 
he had joined me. We found Kes eating her lunch, all alone. 
Unfortunately, Harry was called to the Bridge. Which left me 
alone with Kes . . . and Afarian hair pasta. Who in the hell 
ever heard of hair in pasta? Anyway, Neelix went green-eyed 
jealous over the whole thing and dumped a plate of pasta on my 
chest. So, I decided to return the favor. And the next thing I 
knew, he tackled me to the floor and we began to wrestle. The 
Captain summoned us to her Ready Room for a mission, before I 
had the chance to change into a fresh uniform. Needless to say, 
she was a little miffed. However, she seemed more concerned with 
our mission. Which was? Neelix and I were ordered to fly to an 
M-class planet to collect foodstuff. Great! Just what I need! A 
day with a jealous, volatile warthog with no fashion sense. Oh 
well. At least we didn't get busted for the fight. End personal 
log.

STARDATE 49055.85 - This has certainly been a day of changes. 
Yesterday, I wanted to strangle Neelix. But after spending 
several hours on a planet together, caring for a baby 
reptohumanoid, we're now best buddies. Who would have thought? 
To be honest, once you get past Neelix's insecurities and 
jealous temper, he's not a bad guy. He's one of the very few 
people I can talk with on this ship. I even told him about that 
ridiculous grade Dad gave me in Survival Training at the 
Academy.

Now that Neelix and I are friends, I have to consider Kes off-
limits, permanently. I'm still attracted to her, but as I had 
told Neelix, she has eyes for no one but him. I might as well 
stop fooling myself and admit it. 

Shit! This itching is driving me crazy! Damn trigemic vapors! I 
hope the Doc has some cordrozine available. End personal log.

STARDATE 49068.04 - Miracle of miracles! Harry and I finally 
persuaded B'Elanna to volunteer for pilot lessons in the 
Holodeck. Today marked her first day in the classroom. After 
insisting that she was already a pretty good pilot, she managed 
to crash the shuttle during a flight through an asteroid belt. I 
didn't laugh out loud, but she did order me to wipe that smirk 
off my face. What smirk? I don't recall smirking. End personal 
log.

STARDATE 49089.37 - Is it me or has the Captain becoming testy, 
lately? I suppose it was inevitable, with everyone demanding her 
attention. We're about to enter Botha space and Neelix has 
expressed concern over the matter. Doesn't exactly do much for 
my sense of security, either. 

Both Harry and B'Elanna are still in Engineering, trying to find 
a way to install holoemitters throughout certain areas of the 
ship. They've been working on this project for nearly a week, 
now and I miss them. New holoemitters would supposedly free the 
Doc from the confines of the Sick Bay and the holodecks. Hell! 
It's bad enough dealing with the man, while in Sick Bay. Must we 
have him underfoot, as well? End personal log.

STARDATE 49098.27 - If I ever find myself in Botha space again, 
it would be too soon. God, what a horrible place! To have one's 
deepest fears and desires exposed like that. I simply hated it!

The Captain was the first to experience these illusions. She 
claimed that she saw her fiancé on the view screen. Tuvok saw 
his wife and Harry, Libby. Soon, nearly the entire crew ended up 
telepathically manipulated by the Bothan. I thought I would end 
up facing my old love, Susie Crabtree. Or Kes. Instead, I found 
myself facing good ole Admiral Owen Paris, my childhood horror. 
There was he was, standing behind my shoulder and spouting those 
same hateful words I had to endure during most of my life. 
Naturally, I lost it.

Why the Admiral? Why him, of all people? Dammit! It was like 
facing all the insecurities and doubts of the past, again. I 
thought I had put it behind me, when I ended up in the Delta 
Quadrant. (Sighs) Apparently not.

Sandrine's was pretty crowded this evening. Even Neelix and Kes 
were there. Kes seemed particularly wary of me. I wonder why. 
Harry began his usual chatter about Libby. I guess seeing her in 
that alternate timeline made his longing for her, even worse. 
B'Elanna never told us what she had imagined. She didn't have 
to. The Captain and Chakotay's appearance told me everything. I 
can only imagine what had gone through her mind.

This is just great! B'Elanna is still mooning over the Great 
Spirit Guide and Harry still longs for Libby. At this rate, 
they'll end up as the two loneliest people on this ship - after 
Captain Janeway. End personal log.

STARDATE 49123.7 - Spent a pleasant Valentine's Day. The crew 
held a party inside Sandrine's. Harry and B'Elanna arrived 
together. I came with Ensign Renlay Sharr. I think B'Elanna 
would have enjoyed herself more, if Chakotay had not been there. 
She spent most of the evening, shooting discreet, yet longing 
glances at him. At least Harry and I were able to distract her 
with a dance, each.

I also managed to enjoy a dance with Kes. Again, she seemed a 
bit distant and I don't know why. She has been like this ever 
since we left Botha space. When I finally brought up the 
subject, she snapped out of it and became the old Kes I know and 
love. I wanted to ask what happened, but instinct told me it 
would be best to remain silent. End personal log.

STARDATE 49166.03 - Ten months after our encounter with the 
Caretaker, we came across another array station, similar to the 
one that brought us into the Delta Quadrant. The Captain ordered 
Harry to hail the station. To our surprise, we found it 
maintained by Ocampans - unfriendly ones, at that. They would 
have continued firing upon the ship, if Kes had not asked them 
to stand down. Neelix told me that the Captain will hold a 
dinner for our Ocampan guests in her new private dining room. 
Along with him, Chakotay, Tuvok and Kes have been ordered to 
attend. And the food will be prepared by the Ocampans. Lucky 
people. End personal log.

STARDATE 49171.76 - We finally made contact with the Caretaker's 
mate and it nearly ended in disaster for Voyager. Her name is 
Susperia and she came close to killing the Captain, B'Elanna, 
Tuvok and a few others in Engineering. Susperia had no desire to 
help us return to the Alpha Quadrant. Instead, she wanted 
revenge for the Caretaker's death. Despite what the Captain told 
her, she believed that we had killed him. If it hadn't been for 
Kes, she would have eventually destroyed the ship.

Speaking of Kes, I heard the Ocampans helped strengthen her 
telekinesis. Because of this, she nearly killed Tuvok, destroyed 
the plants in the Airpondics Bay and weakened Susperia by 
attacking one of the Ocampans. Whew! I never realized how 
powerful she could be. Then I remember she was the one who had 
defeated that Bothan. End personal log.

STARDATE 49179.6 - While delivering a navigational report to 
Engineering, I asked Sue Nicoletti out for a date. She said no. 
Okay. I'm a little disappointed, but I'll get over it. I realize 
that Sue might not be my type, but neither is Kes. And I ended 
up falling in love with her.

Of course, one might ask why Sue Nicoletti? Again, like Kes, 
she's different from the other women I usually date. And quite 
frankly, I'm getting a little weary of fleeting romances. Sue is 
beautiful, intelligent and seems like someone I would like to 
know very much. Unfortunately, she is not interested in me. But 
hey! I'm a Paris. And Parises never give up. End personal log.

STARDATE 49201.76 - Voyager took one hell of a beating from the 
Kazon-Nistrim, today. We came across a Federation signal from a 
nebula cloud. A cloud that hid a Kazon ship, commanded by an old 
friend, Maje Cullah. The attack turned out to be a raid, 
masterminded by another old friend, Seska. Who now looks 
completely Cardassian. The raid resulted in the theft of a 
transporter module, a Kazon shuttle stuck in the ship's hull and 
a collapsed warp field. It's a damn good thing the Kazon were 
only interested in a hit-and-run raid. Or we would have been in 
serious trouble.

Harry later managed to drag B'Elanna out of Engineering for 
dinner in the Mess Hall. We talked about the raid and Seska. 
B'Elanna told us that Chakotay felt guilty for recruiting Seska 
into the Maquis, in the first place. Not really surprised. 
Chakotay had never been a good judge of character. Tuvok, on the 
other hand, is a pretty good one. Neelix repeated a suggestion 
he had made to the Captain. And I quote: "Perhaps Commander
Chakotay could use his intimate knowledge of Seska to manipulate
her in much the same way she manipulated us." (Laughs) Oh God! 
(More laughter) I wish I had witnessed that little moment. 
(Takes a deep breath) Poor Neelix looked embarrassed when he 
repeated Tuvok's words. So did Harry. As for B'Elanna . . . 
hell, she looked as if she could commit murder. Instead, she 
stormed out of the Mess Hall in a huff. Probably to offer 
comfort to our embarrassed First Officer. End personal log.

STARDATE 49204.06 - We finally managed to rescue Chakotay from 
Seska and the Kazon-Nistrim. It seemed Seska had integrated our 
transporter module into Kazon technology. She and Cullah 
executed three men from the Kazon-Relora by transporting them 
into space. This turned out to be the last straw for Chakotay, 
who went after Seska and the module in a shuttle, without 
Janeway's permission. He left a message beacon, instructing us 
not to rescue him. Tuvok argued that we should heed the good 
Commander's advice. I had no problem with that. However, the 
always loyal B'Elanna convinced the Captain to go after 
Chakotay. We rescued him by first, kidnapping a group of Kazon, 
including Cullah, and insisting on a trade. It worked. End 
personal log.

STARDATE 49209.09 - Stunning news, today. Well, first things 
first. Chakotay has returned to duty. He and the Captain spent a 
few minutes inside her Ready Room. Judging from their 
expressions, the Captain must have placed an official reprimand 
on his record.

And the big news? Seska left behind a message beacon for 
Chakotay. He rejected the Captain's offer to relay the message 
to his office. Big mistake. It seems Seska had used the sample 
of Chakotay's DNA she had stolen to impregnate herself. And now, 
she's carrying his child. Boy! The look on Chakotay's face was 
one I will never forget. He looked absolutely stunned. I can 
imagine how B'Elanna will react when she hears the news. End 
personal log.

STARDATE 49220.98 - Saw B'Elanna for the first time in four 
days. Ever since Seska's little bombshell, she has been hiding 
out in her quarters or Engineering. Harry finally forced her to 
show up her shuttle lesson, today. In the end, I couldn't keep 
my mouth shut and asked where had she been for the past several 
days. B'Elanna claimed that she had been busy repairing the hull 
breach from Seska's raid. I called her a liar (God, I'm a brave 
man!) and told her I knew what was really going on.

"Like what?" she demanded.

I told her. I told her that I knew she was upset over Seska's 
pregnancy. I added that it wasn't Chakotay's fault. That Seska 
had stolen his DNA, while he was unconscious. And that Seska 
used the DNA to impregnate herself. "It's not like they had
sex," I added.

Big mistake. B'Elanna immediately ended the lesson and started 
to leave the holodeck. Determined to make her see the light, I 
blocked her way and added that a) I knew about her infatuation 
with Chakotay; b) she was wasting her time on a man who was not 
the ideal she seemed to believe he was; c) Chakotay never struck 
me as her type; and d) that being the case, she should consider 
letting go of this infatuation.

Okay, perhaps I had been a little too blunt. My words didn't 
exactly sit well with B'Elanna. In fact, she lost her temper and 
threatened to dismember me if I didn't get out of her way. Well, 
a guy usually knows when he's not wanted and I knew that if I 
didn't step aside, she would carry out her threat. So I moved. 
And she left. God only knows when she'll speak to me, again. End 
personal log.

STARDATE 49234.53 - I must be very unpopular with female 
engineers, lately. B'Elanna still isn't speaking to me. I really 
must have pissed her off. I also asked Sue Nicoletti for another 
date. This time, she responded with an emphatic no. (Sighs) I 
wonder if Harry is available for a quick game of pool, tonight. 
I might even allow my old snuggle bunny, Ricki, to make an 
appearance. End personal log.

STARDATE 49245.06 - Trouble aboard Voayger, today. The warp 
field coils are beginning to malfunction. And they're affecting 
the port nacelle. Engineering had to reroute power to the anti-
matter reactor. It's the only way we can keep moving. Harry and 
B'Elanna informed us that Voyager desperately needs tellurium 
for the reactor. Fortunately, Neelix knows where we can acquire 
a supply. Until then, many shipboard systems will be down. End 
personal log.

STARDATE 49250.52 - Ever since the Captain, Tuvok, and B'Elanna 
end up missing on the Mokra homeworld, the crew has been in a 
state of anxiety. All because of the damn tellurium. Neelix's 
description of the Mokra Order reminded me of the Nazi regime 
from 20th century Earth history. In the end, our missing trio 
and Neelix ended up dealing with representatives from the 
Alsarian resistance movement. Neelix returned to the ship with 
the tellurium. Unfortunately, the others ended up either missing 
or captured. End personal log.

STARDATE 49253.87 - We got the Captain, B'Elanna and Tuvok back. 
Barely. Chakotay sent me and an Away team to rescue them from 
the Mokra Order. By the time we found them, they had rescued 
themselves. Augris, head of the Mokra, had been killed. I think 
the Captain is still upset over the death of that old man. The 
Doctor healed Tuvok's wounds. Never saw a Vulcan look so chewed 
up like that. I don't know about B'Elanna. She has been in her 
quarters, since her return to the ship. I think Harry is with 
her. I'd join them, but I don't think B'Elanna wants my company. 
End personal log.

STARDATE 49260.43 - I'm running late! The staff meeting 
starts in less than 15 minutes and I just finished showering. If 
I had remembered, I would have never spent the night with Margot 
Gallagher. She and Dick Bennet had finally called it quits some 
five weeks ago. Big argument in the Mess Hall. Bennet consoled 
himself with Jana McCormick from Engineering. Since Sue 
Nicoletti is proving to be elusive, I decided to try my luck 
with Gallagher. At least for a while. According to Harry, Bennet 
is pissed. Too bad. He should have thought of that before he 
took up with McCormick. End personal log.

STARDATE 49278.21 - The crew found and beamed aboard an android 
that had been floating in space. Naturally Tuvok, with his usual 
Vulcan "doom-and-gloom", nay-sayed the idea. But the Captain 
gave B'Elanna and Harry permission to repair the android. Now, 
they have a new toy to become obsessed over. Harry eventually 
grew tired and left Engineering. Not B'Elanna. I gather she's 
still there, obsessing over her new toy.

Also, Gallagher asked me over to her quarters for dinner. I 
guess I would have preferred Nicoletti, but something tells me 
that a date with her would be hopeless. So, I'll be keeping 
company with the lovely Margot, tonight. End personal log.

STARDATE 49281.19 - A hell of a lot has happened, lately. The 
android that B'Elanna had repaired, kidnapped her so she would 
create a prototype of Pralor druids. The Captain threatened the 
Pralor ship with force, in order to force them to return 
B'Elanna. Instead, they responded by attacking the ship. The 
attack left Voyager with little warp power for half a day. End 
personal log.

STARDATE 49282.84 - The Captain, Tuvok and Chakotay finally came 
up with a plan to rescue B'Elanna. Thank God! The plan was to 
distract the Pralor ship long enough for me to slip inside its 
shields by shuttlecraft, beam B'Elanna aboard and fly back to 
Voyager. I did suggest getting inside the Pralor's shields 
without a diversion and Mister "Crash" Chakotay had the nerve to 
hint that I might wreck another shuttle. This coming from a man
who has wrecked more shuttles than all of the Federation's 
enemies combined!

In the end, another ship filled with androids created the 
diversion. They were the Cravic, and were at war with the 
Pralor. I managed to slip through a breach in the Pralor's ship, 
caused by the Cravic. I also beamed B'Elanna aboard the shuttle. 
Unfortunately, not before she was injured.

Later at Sandrine's, Harry and I learned from B'Elanna that 
there had been a war between the Pralor and the Cravic. They had 
created androids to fight their armies. When the two races ended 
their war, the androids exterminated them in fear of being 
deactivated or destroyed. I've said it before and I'll say it 
again - we're too dependent upon technology.

And yes, B'Elanna is speaking to me again. She thanked me for 
rescuing her from the Pralor. After Harry left our table for 
drinks, she also admitted that I had been right about her and 
Chakotay. I don't think her infatuation is completely over, but 
I can see that she no longer puts him on a pedestal. It's a 
relief to know that she is finally on the road to recovery. End 
personal log.

STARDATE 49302.85 - Sad news today. Q or Quinn has committed 
suicide. According to Kes, he killed himself by swallowing 
Nogatch hemlock. A little gift provided by that other omnipotent 
being, Q. After the Captain gave him asylum aboard Voyager, I 
thought he would readily join the crew. I guess not. Kes said 
that she didn't feel too sad. Not only was Quinn free of the Q 
Continuum, he no longer had to deal with an existence in 
eternity. End personal log.

STARDATE 49315.82 - The Kazon-Nistrim are back. Dammit! Voyager 
sustained damage to several decks and impulse engines, during a 
twenty minute battle. We engaged against two Nistrim ships. One, 
I'm happy to say, was destroyed. The other, although heavily 
damanged, managed to escape. I hope it will be a while before 
our next encounter with the Kazon. However, my gut tells me that 
we'll be seeing them a lot sooner. End personal log.

STARDATE 49327.65 - God, I'm tired! Once again, Voyager had 
another battle with the Kazon. Don't these people ever give up? 
This time, they managed to take us by surprise, during Gamma 
shift. The battle ended in the destruction of the Kazon ship. 
Unfortunately, Voyager sustained damage to the starboard nacelle 
and Deck Eight. Two crewmen - Larson and Golwat - were injured. 
Right now, I need a bite to eat and some rest. End personal log.

STARDATE 49330.11 - Another battle with the Kazon-Nistrim. 
Cullah and Seska seemed to be after us with a vengeance. Again, 
several decks were damaged, along with the navigational 
deflector and impulse engines. B'Elanna had to shut down the 
warp engines, to prevent a core breach. After the battle, I went 
to Engineering to help her repair the navigational deflector. 
The place was a mess! Several crewmen had been injured, along 
with Kurt Bandera. B'Elanna told me that he died not long after 
he had been beamed to Sick Bay. She seemed pretty shaken by the 
news. So was I, to be honest. Kurt had been the only Maquis who 
had treated me decently, despite being one of Chakotay's closest 
friends. 

Kurt's memorial service was held during Gamma shift. After the 
service, Ensign Hogan, another ex-Maquis, accosted the Captain 
about trading Federation technology with the Kazon. He saw no 
harm in it. Mind you, I have a pretty low opinion of the Prime 
Directive, but not even I would consider such a trade. Unless 
the situation was desperate enough to call for one. But I don't 
see the harm in forming an alliance with the Kazon.

Thankfully, Chakotay managed to convince the Captain into 
considering a Kazon-Federation alliance. Harry was appalled. 
Tuvok, surprisingly, seemed to have found logic in the idea. 
Tuvok and Chakotay agreeing to the same thing - scary! B'Elanna 
suggested we try to make an alliance with the Nistrim. I thought 
it was a good idea. Chakotay didn't. I guess he would have 
preferred another Kazon sect. But the Captain told him that he 
would have to deal with an alliance with Seska and Cullah. Since 
the whole idea was his to begin with. You know, I'm glad the 
Captain has finally considered this alliance, but I have a 
nagging feeling that she hopes it will fail. End personal log.

STARDATE 49332.42 - Harry is still bitching about the possible 
alliance with the Kazon. He said that the latter cannot be 
trusted and such an alliance would be a violation of Federation 
ideals. B'Elanna coolly asked him if he had felt the same about 
the Federation's treaty with the Cardassians. Harry remained 
silent after that.

Neelix has left to make contact with the Kazon-Pommar. I guess 
the Captain has plans to establish an alliance with all of the 
Kazon sects. Good luck! We should rendevous with Neelix, 
tomorrow. End personal log.

STARDATE 49337.71 - The whole alliance between us and the Kazon 
has gone to hell, thanks to the Trabe. Funny thing is, I'm not 
really surprised. People don't really change that much, and I 
guess one could say the same about the Trabe. A few decades ago, 
they had been a highly sophisticated race who oppressed the 
Kazon for generations. Turned them into a slave race. The Kazon 
eventually rebelled against the Trabe and more or less, have 
been hunting them down, since.

The Captain, Chakotay and many others believed the Trabe had 
learned some humility over the years. Ha! What a joke! I'm not 
saying that I was suspicious of the Trabe, but I don't think 
people change that drastically, no matter what they went 
through. And I certainly didn't think the Kazon would tolerate 
the Trabe's presence at the peace conference. Well, I was right. 
The Trabe tried to kill all of the Kazon majes and the entire 
alliance fell apart. So, that's the end of that. And judging 
from the Captain's little "we are Starfleet" speech, I think 
she is secretly pleased over the alliance's failure. She never 
wanted the alliance in the first place. But sooner or later, I 
suspect she's going to realize that one day, she will have to go 
against Starfleet protocol to ensure our survival in the Delta 
Quadrant. End personal log.

STARDATE 49346.39 - Harry, B'Elanna and I discussed an 
interesting topic during lunch, today. Warp 10 flight. According 
to B'Elanna, the dilithium we had picked up from that dark 
nebula about a month ago, has proven to be strong and rich 
enough to remain stable at a much higher warp frequency. In 
other words, it could be used to allow a ship to travel at Warp 
10. Starfleet has always considered it an infinite velocity 
unattainable by normal warp drive technology. But with this new 
dilithium, Voyager could travel at Warp 10. This would enable 
the ship to travel at a speed that theoretically occupies all 
points in the universe simultaneous. Perhaps give us the ability 
to travel at transwarp speed. 

We all agreed it was something to think about. I think B'Elanna 
and Harry saw this as an opportunity to quickly get home. I 
saw it as an opportunity to make aviation history. Since the 
Captain is now in her quarters, we plan to present the idea to 
her. I better hurry or I'll be late. End personal log.

STARDATE 49346.8 - The Captain has agreed to let us work on the 
Warp 10 project. (Takes a deep breath) Okay. Warp 10. God, I 
hope we'll be able to pull it off. (Pauses) Boy, wouldn't that 
be something? To be the first pilot to reach Warp 10. I wonder 
how Dad would react if I succeed? Would he finally see more than 
just an embarrassment to the Paris name? (Pauses) I don't know. 
End personal log.

STARDATE 49357.67 - I didn't know whether to hug or kiss Neelix 
after listening to his little story. Okay, I had settled for a 
hug. Harry, B'Elanna and I have been running holodeck 
simulations on the Warp 10 flight. And each simulation ended 
in failure. We thought it were the nacelles buckling under 
pressure of transwarp flight, but it was the shuttle's hull. 
Neelix's tale (hell, I forgotten all the details) gave me an 
idea. We should strengthen the shuttle's hull with tritanium, 
instead. A second holodeck simulation proved that my idea worked. 
Harry, B'Elanna and I informed the Captain and Chakotay. And now, 
it seems I will be conducting the Warp 10 flight, tomorrow morning. 
I only hope . . . (door chimes) Hell, who is it now? End personal 
log.

LOG SUPPLEMENTAL - Dammit, I nearly lost the flight! All because 
of the Doc. The Captain came by to inform me that the Doc found 
a slight enzymatic imbalance in my cerebellum. And that 
something that might affect my health during the experiment. And 
that Harry will conduct the flight in my stead.

(Sighs) For a moment, I thought I might have overreacted at the 
news. I really didn't realize how much I wanted to make 
this flight, until I nearly lost it. Do I want the recognition 
that badly? To be known as the one who made the first Warp 10 
flight? I mean, what was it going to get me? (Pauses) I don't 
know. I . . . Hell! Who am I kidding? It's not the name 
recognition I want. It's the respect.

Yeah, I know that some of the crew have begun treating me with 
more respect and friendliness, in the past six months or so. 
Treat me as part of the crew. But I still see signs of hostility 
and disgust in the eyes of many people. Especially people like 
Chakotay. Maybe this Warp 10 flight will finally erase their 
distrust for good. End personal log.

STARDATE 49359.86 - I did it. I became the first Human or
sentient being to achieve Warp 10 speed. It was amazing! In a 
breath of a second, I went everywhere in the universe. Other 
sectors of the Delta Quadrant, the Alpha Quadrant, in the past 
and in the future . . . My name will probably end up in the 
History books, with others like Cochrane, Armstrong and Kelly. And yet 
. . . I don't know. I guess I don't feel as elated as I should.
The Captain certainly did. And so did B'Elanna. Now, why don’t
I feel the same? I don't know. Maybe earning the respect of
others just isn't enough. (Sighs) Oh well. Huh, it's almost 
17:00 hours. I forgot that I'm supposed to meet B'Elanna in the 
Mess Hall, so we can go over the specs of the flight. End 
personal log.

STARDATE 49378.33 - This has all been a surreal dream. I wish it 
had been a dream. But it wasn't. I actually died. And 
resurrected as a lizard, a salamander or something. The Doc claimed 
that I had evolved into man's future state. I don't know if I 
agree with that conclusion. How can an amphibian be considered 
man's future form?

The funny thing is that I don't remember a damn thing that 
happened. Well, I take that back. I do remember how awful 
Neelix's coffee tasted. Maybe I can get him to change the name. 
And I remember lying flat on my back in the Mess Hall, and 
writhing in pain, while B'Elanna stroked my hair. (Pauses) Whoa! 
Now why did I say that? Anyway, the Doc happily filled me in on 
some of the hazy moments. Let's just say that he knows a lot 
about the history of my sex life. Perhaps too much. He also 
knows that I don't trust people who don't cry and that I have a 
serious inferiority complex. God! What else did I reveal? Oh, 
he did add that I asked Kes to give me a kiss. Thank goodness 
Neelix will never find out.

The Doctor had a plan to restore my original DNA, using matter 
from the ship's warp core. Only, I managed to escape, kidnap the 
Captain, and leave Voyager in the Cochrane, before he could 
succeed. The crew found the Captain and I on some swampy planet, 
three days later. And we had transformed into a pair of 
salamanders. Salamanders with babies. Great! In a space of four 
days, I've died, resurrected, transformed into another species, 
kidnapped the Captain, transformed her, took her to a planet and 
knocked her up. I must add that we had three babies. Chakotay 
and Tuvok decided to leave them on the planet. Huh. Too bad. 
I wouldn't have minded being a father. I think.

I had apologized to the Captain for my behavior. She's really 
something. She had suggested that she might have been the one to 
initiate our . . . uh, mating. Shit! Now I feel like an 
embarrassed schoolboy! As for the Warp 10 project, it looks as 
if we might have to find another way for a starship to travel at 
that speed - and without "evolving" into another animal. 
End personal log.


END OF PART I

”THE MOVING FINGER” (1942) Book Review

”THE MOVING FINGER” (1942) Book Review

Published in 1942, ”THE MOVING FINGER” is an Agatha Christie murder mystery about a small English town rocked by a series of poison pen letters that lead to suicide and murder. This particular novel featured the elderly Jane Marple as the story’s chief detective, despite the fact that the character only has a minor role. 

Set during the early years of World War II, Jerry and Joanna Burton are disaffected siblings from London society who take a country house in idyllic town of Lymstock, so that Jerry can rest from injuries received in a wartime plane crash. They are just getting to know the town's strange cast of characters when an anonymous letter arrives, rudely accusing the two of not being brother and sister, but lovers. They quickly discover that these letters have been recently circulating around town, indiscriminate and completely inaccurate. One of the letters eventually hits its target, when a local woman commits suicide after receiving hers. The story’s narrator – Jerry Burton – becomes suspicious that the woman’s maid may have witnessed something. Before he can alert the local police, the maid becomes a murder victim.

Author Agatha Christie has been known to admit that ”THE MOVING FINGER” was one of her favorites:

”"I find that another one [book] I am really pleased with is ”The Moving Finger’. It is a great test to re-read what one has written some seventeen or eighteen years before. One's view changes. Some do not stand the test of time, others do."

I wish I could agree with the renowned mystery writer. I really do. However . . . I found ”THE MOVING FINGER” to be very unimpressive. It struck me as pedestrian and rather sloppily written. It seemed as if Mrs. Christie did not put much effort to create a well written story. Even worse, this is supposed to be a Jane Marple novel. Yet, the elderly amateur detective did not even appear in the story, until the sixth chapter and appeared in a few scenes. And the novel only possessed eight chapters. Apparently one of the characters, the vicar’s wife, had decided to summon the one person she felt could solve the case – namely Miss Marple. Unfortunately, Christie used the elderly visitor from St. Mary Mead as a minor,deus ex machine style character. Which I found very disappointing. 

The only interest I found in ”THE MOVING FINGER” was the romance between Jerry Burton and Megan Hunter, the twenty year-old daughter of the woman who had committed suicide. I found it interesting, due to Burton being an interesting narrator. However, I also found his condescending attitude toward Megan and the ugly ducking/beautiful swan motif that surrounded her character and their romance barely palatable. All right, I found it damn annoying. But I must say that it was a hell of a lot more interesting that the main mystery. Speaking of which, it was not much of a mystery to me, considering that I was able to guess the identity of the murderer by the third or fourth chapter.

I am major fan of Agatha Christie. I have been one for years – ever since I was thirteen years old. But I must admit that”THE MOVING FINGER” proved to be quite a disappointment to me. It seemed like a hastily written murder mystery, in which the main detective has only a few brief appearance. It also possessed an annoying romance between the novel’s slightly condescending narrator and a gauche twenty year-old. Christie could have done better than this.

"THE PRISONER OF ZENDA" (1937) Review

"THE PRISONER OF ZENDA" (1937) Review

I realize that many film critics and fans would agree with my suspicion that the 1930s saw a great deal of action films released to theaters. In fact, I believe there were as high number of actions films released back then as they are now. Among the type of action films that flourished during that era were swashbucklers. 

One of the most famous Hollywood swashbucklers released during the 1930s was "THE PRISONER OF ZENDA", producer David O. Selznick's 1937 adaptation of Anthony Hope's 1894 novel. This tale of middle European political intrigue and identity theft has been either remade or spoofed countless of times over the years. One of the most famous spoofs included George MacDonald Fraser's 1970 Flashman novel called "Royal Flash". But if one asked many moviegoers which adaptation comes to mind, I believe many would point out Selznick's 1937 movie.

Directed by John Cromwell, the movie began with Englishman Rudolf Rassendyll's arrival in the kingdom of Ruritania in time for the coronation of its new king, Rudolf V. The English visitor's looks attract a great deal of attention from some of the country's populace and eventually from the new king and the latter's two aides. The reason behind this attention is due to the fact that not only are the Briton and the Ruritanian monarch are distant cousins, they can also pass for identical twins. King Rudolf invites Rassendyll to the royal hunting lodge for dinner with him and his aides - Colonel Sapt and Captain Fritz von Tarlenheim. They celebrate their acquaintance by drinking late into the night. Rudolf is particularly delighted with the bottle of wine sent to him by his half-brother, Duke Michael, and drinks it all himself. The next morning brings disastrous discoveries - the wine was drugged and King Rudolf cannot be awakened in time to attend his coronation. Fearing that Duke Michael will try to usurp the throne, Colonel Zapt convinces a reluctant Rassendyll to impersonate Rudolf for the ceremony.

While watching "THE PRISONER OF ZENDA", it became easy for me to see why it has become regarded as one of the best swashbucklers of the 1930s. Selznick, its array of credited and uncredited screenwriters, and director John Cromwell did an excellent job of transferring Anthony Hope's tale to the screen. This certainly seemed to be the case from a technical point-of-view. Selznick managed to gather a talented cast that more than did justice to Hope's literary characters. The movie also benefited from Alfred Newman's stirring score, which received a well deserved Academy Award nomination. Lyle R. Wheeler received the first of his 24 Academy Award nominations for the movie's art designs, which exquisitely re-created Central Europe of the late 19th century. His works was enhanced by Jack Cosgrove's special effects and the photography of both James Wong Howe and an uncredited Bert Glennon. And I was very impressed by Ernest Dryden's re-creation of 1890s European fashion in his costume designs.

The performances featured in "THE PRISONER OF ZENDA" struck me as outstanding. Not only was Mary Astor charming as Duke Michael's mistress, Antoinette de Mauban, she also did an excellent job in conveying Mademoiselle de Mauban's love for Michael and her desperation to do anything to keep him safe for herself. C. Aubrey Smith gave one of his better performances as the weary and level-headed royal aide, Colonel Sapt, whose love for his country and the throne outweighed his common sense and disappointment in his new king. David Niven gave the film its funniest performance as junior royal aide, Captain Fritz von Tarlenheim. Not only did I find his comedy style memorable, but also subtle. Raymond Massey's performance as King Rudolf's illegitimate half-brother, Duke Michael, struck me as very interesting. On one hand, Massey smoldered with his usual air of menace. Yet, he also did an excellent job of conveying Michael's resentment of his illegitimate status and disgust over his half-brother's dissolute personality.

However, I feel that the best performances came from Ronald Colman, Madeleine Carroll and Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. I read that the latter originally wanted the dual roles of Rassendyll and King Rudolf . . . and was disappointed when Colman won the roles. But he received advice from C. Aubrey Smith to accept the Rupert of Hentzau role, considered the best by many. Smith proved to be right. Fairbanks gave the best performance in the movie as the charming and witty villain, who served as Duke Michael's main henchman, while attempting to seduce the latter's mistress. Madeleine Carroll could have easily portrayed Princess Flavia as a dull, yet virtuous beauty. Instead, the actress superbly portrayed the princess as an emotionally starved woman, who harbored resentment toward her royal cousin Rudolf for years of his contemptuous treatment toward her; and who blossomed from Rassendyll's love. Although I believe that Fairbanks Jr. gave the movie's best performance, I cannot deny that Ronald Colman served as the movie's backbone in his excellent portrayals of both Englishman Rudolf Rassendyll and Ruritania King Rudolf V. Without resorting to any theatrical tricks or makeup, Colman effortlessly portrayed two distant cousins with different personalities. "THE PRISONER OF ZENDA" marked the third movie I have seen starring Colman. I believe I am finally beginning to realize what a superb actor he truly was.

Before my raptures over "THE PRISONER OF ZENDA" get the best of me, I feel I have to point out a few aspects of the movie that I found troubling. Selznick International released three movies in 1937. Two of them had been filmed in Technicolor and one, in black-and-white. I do not understand why Selznick had decided that "THE PRISONER OF ZENDA" would be the only one filmed in black-and-white. This movie practically begged for Technicolor. Surely he could have allowed either "A STAR IS BORN" or "NOTHING SACRED" in black-and-white. For a movie that is supposed to be a swashbuckler, it seemed to lack a balanced mixture of dramatic narrative and action. During my viewing of the movie, I noticed that aside from Colonel Sapt forcing the royal lodge's cook, Frau Holf, into drinking the rest of the drugged wine; there was no real action until past the movie's mid-point. And speaking of the action, I found it . . . somewhat tolerable. The minor sequence featuring Rupert's first attempt at killing Rassendyll, the latter's efforts to save King Rudolf from assassination at Duke Michael's castle near Zenda, and the charge led by Sapt at the castle struck me as solid. But I found the sword duel between Rassendyll and Rupert rather disappointing. Both Colman and Fairbanks spent more time talking than fighting. I found myself wondering if the constant conversation was a means used by Cromwell to hide the poor choreography featured in the sword fight.

I do not think I would ever view "THE PRISONER OF ZENDA" as one of my favorite swashbucklers of all time. But despite some of the disappointing action sequences, I still believe that its drama and suspense, along with a superb cast led by Ronald Colman, made it a first-rate movie and one of the best produced by David O. Selznick.

"THE MONUMENTS MEN" (2014) Photo Gallery

Below are images from "THE MONUMENTS MEN", George Clooney's World War II historical drama about the recovery of priceless art. Based on the book "The Monuments Men: Allied Heroes, Nazi Thieves and the Greatest Treasure Hunt in History" by Robert M. Edsel, the movie was directed and starred Clooney: 


"THE MONUMENTS MEN" (2014) Photo Gallery

Janeway's Decision in "STAR TREK VOYAGER" (3.04) "THE SWARM"

JANEWAY'S DECISION IN "STAR TREK VOYAGER" (3.04) "The Swarm"

Over an hour ago, I had just finished watching the early Season Three "STAR TREK: VOYAGER" episode, (3.04) "The Swarm". And after watching it, I was reminded on why I have disliked it so much for so many years. 

Although most of the story focused around Kes' efforts to save the Doctor's degrading matrix, the B-plot focused around Voyager's efforts to cut short fifteen months of their journey by trespassing through the territory of a species named by Voyager's crew asthe Swarm. Now, Chief of Security, then Lieutenant Tuvok tried to remind Captain Kathryn Janeway that the territory belonged to these aliens and that they had every right not to allow other travelers through their space. After two seasons, Janeway decided to adopt the "Maquis way" and ignore Tuvok. Instead, she labeled the Swarm as "bullies" - as if that was a sufficient reason for Voyager to commit trespassing - and led the ship into "the Swarm's" space.

I am quite certain that most Trek fans would disagree with me, but I found Janeway's actions to be more of a "bully" than the Swarm. If some aliens had decided to trespass into Federation space, despite Starfleet's decision to ban them, I bet that both Janeway and Chakotay would be among the first to defend Starfleet's decision. But being the arrogant Starfleet officers they were, I guess they decided that they simply lacked the patience to add fifteen months to a journey that already left Voyager with 68 or 69 years left to reach Earth. Fifteen months against 68 or 69 years. Hmmmm. Was Janeway's effort to ignore "the Swarm's" wishes really worth it? Personally . . . I do not think so. 

During the series' the first two seasons, Janeway struggled to rigidly stick to Starfleet protocols. In "The Swarm", she decided to drop this command style and adopt Chakotay's method of utilizing "the Maquis way". This decision eventually led to Janeway's disastrous alliance with the Borg during their war against Species 8472.

I have read both Jim Wright and Julia Houston's reviews of this particular episode. Wright practically celebrated Janeway's decision to ignore Tuvok's advise and trespass into the Swarm's territory. Frankly, I was not surprised. During the show's first three seasons, Wright had made it clear that he disliked Tuvok. In fact, I can only wonder if his dislike of Tuvok had blinded him to Chakotay's constant taunting of the Vulcan during the show's first season. Apparently, anything that would cut the Vulcan down to size seemed to satisfy him. And I also noticed that he also seemed to enjoy a vicarious thrill in Janeway telling the Swarm to go fuck themselves. Perhaps her aggressive move brought back memories of the "good old days" of Captain James T. Kirk's arrogant"gunboat diplomacy" attitude toward various species hostile toward the Federation.

Then I read Julia Houston's review. Although she seemed to believe that Tuvok was right in advising Janeway not to invade the Swarm's territory, a small part of her felt a "twinge of imperialistic satisfaction" that Voyager did it anyway. Apparently, the Swarm's attitude to keeping invaders at bay irked her. What can I say? I get the feeling that deep down, she was just as thrilled as Wright.

Frankly, I found Janeway's decision a little repellent. Then again, I have never cared for any of the other Starfleet captains' arrogant attitude toward other aliens. It was this same attitude that led Starfleet to ignore the Dominion's wishes and invade their space in the Gamma Quadrant in "STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE". A decision that led to a brutal two-year war against the Dominion. I also recalled an "STAR TREK: ORIGINAL SERIES" episode called (1.23) "A Taste of Armageddon" in which Jim Kirk forced two societies to end their war by destroying the computers that had conducted the war, and insisted that Federation society was better than theirs. This act forced the two warring aliens to turn to the Federation in the end. That episode had repelled me just as much as Janeway's decision in "The Swarm". Kirk's intent may have been noble, but the manner in which he stopped a war that had no impact upon the Federation struck me as the arrogant moves of a bully. 

Do not get me wrong. I am a big fan of the STAR TREK franchise. I always have been a fan and I always will be one. But there are some aspects of the STAR TREK franchise (both movies and television) that has turned me off. One of those aspects was the habit of Starfleet captains making arrogant decisions against the wishes of those aliens they sometimes encounter. Decisions that the Federation would have definitely resented if some group of aliens had done the same to them. I guess that in their view, what is good for the Federation (or Starfleet) was not good for those other aliens. I find such attitudes rather distasteful.

"DARK SHADOWS" (2012) Review

"DARK SHADOWS" (2012) Review

I have never been a die hard fan of director Tim Burton. Honestly. In fact, I can only think of one or two of his movies that really impressed me. Okay, I can think of four . . . including his 2012 opus, "DARK SHADOWS". 

At least three Burton films have really impressed me in recent years.  Two of them were his 2007 Oscar-nominated film, "SWEENEY TODD" and his 2014 biopic, "BIG EYES". I did not love either film.  And I have no desire to see either of them again. But they did impress me. The third Burton film that managed to impress me was his big screen adaptation of the 1966-71 ABC television series, "DARK SHADOWS".  I had originally reacted with mild interest when I first heard about.  I have never seen the old television series. And to be honest, I have no real desire to watch it. It was the humor featured in the trailer for Burton's 2012 film that led me to go see it.

"DARK SHADOWS" told the story of Barnabas Collins, the 18th century scion of a wealthy Colonial family, who is transformed into a vampire by a scorned lover named Angelique Bouchard, who also happened to be a Collins family servant and a witch. After transforming him into a vampire, Angelique led a lynch mob that captures Barnabas and buries him alive in a chained coffin in the woods. Two hundred years later in 1972, a group of construction workers accidentally free Barnabas, before he feeds on them. He later makes his way back to the Collins manor and finds it inhabited by his mid 20th century descendants; family matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, her 15 year-old daughter Carolyn Stoddard, Elizabeth's brother Roger Collins, his 10 year-old son David; and their servants who are caretaker Willie Loomis and David's governess, Victoria Winters, who is a reincarnation of Barnabas' lost love, Josette du Pres. One last occupant is David's live-in psychiatrist, Dr. Julia Hoffman.

Barnabas convinces Elizabeth of his identity when he reveals a secret room behind the fireplace. The room contains a vast treasure that can help the Collins family restore the family business. However, Elizabeth makes him promise to never reveal his identity as a vampire to the rest of the family. All seemed to be well for the Collins family, until Angelique, who has used magic to extend her life, discovers that Barnabas has been released from his coffin. Angelique has also used her own fishery business to bankrupt the family. Upset that Barnabas has returned, Angelique tries to win back his affections through sex. However, Barnabas makes it clear that he does not love her. And Angelique goes out of her way to ensure the destruction of Barnabas and his immediate family.

"DARK SHADOWS" is not perfect. I am quite aware that it is not ensemble piece, despite the likes of Michelle Pfieffer and Helena Bonham-Carter in the cast. I also realize that is basically about Barnabas Collins. But I do believe that two or three supporting characters were barely used in the story. And those characters proved to be young David Collins, Dr. Julia Hoffman (portrayed by the marvelous Helena Bonham-Carter) and Roger Collins, portrayed by the woefully underused Jonny Lee Miller. And I wish the movie had explained how Angelique managed to survive and not age for two centuries. From what I had read, this was never explained in the television version either. I also found the revelation of Carolyn Stoddard as a werewolf near the end of the movie, very contrived. Either screenwriter Seth Grahame-Smith had failed to hint this revelation or I simply failed to notice any his hint(s). And I also found the movie's pacing slightly uneven three-quarters into the story. I suspect that Burton and his screenwriter, Seth Grahame-Smith, were in such a hurry to get rid of Roger Collins and Dr. Hoffman that the pacing somewhat became off-kilter. 

But despite its flaws, I still managed to enjoy "DARK SHADOWS" very much. First of all, I was dazzled by Bruno Delbonnel's cinematography. He gave it a rich, blue-tinted look that really contributed to the film's setting and tale. This was especially apparent in the prologue that introduced the Collins family's American origins and Barnabas Collins. Delbonnel's photography also enhanced Rick Heinrichs' production designs. Heinrichs did a beautiful job in re-creating both the mid and late-18th century Maine, along with the same location in 1972. And I feel he was ably supported by Chris Lowe's art direction team, John Bush's set decorations and Colleen Atwood's beautiful costume designs. 

Although I was somewhat critical of Grahame-Seth's screenplay, I do not believe it was not a complete waste. In fact, I thought it was wise of him to center the main narrative around Barnabas Collins. The latter's attempts to assimilate into the early 1970s had me shaking with laughter. And Grahame-Seth was wise to not only enrich Barnabas' love for Josette du Pres and later, Victoria Winters; but also his concerns for his family. Family seemed to be very important to Barnabas, which allowed Grahame-Seth to focus more on Victoria and the Collins family . . . even Roger. Barnabas' concerns for his family also made his conflict with Angelique Bouchard even more pressing. I am also glad that both Burton and Grahame-Seth's portrayal of Barnabas was complex. They allowed him to feed on other human beings without labeling him as evil. Barnabas feeds on the blood of others to survive, just as we humans feed on other living beings - both animals and plants. He does not like feeding on others anymore than he likes being a vampire. There is no taint of one-dimensional morality that has marred television series like "BUFFY, THE VAMPIRE SLAYER", "ANGEL" and "CHARMED". Several critics and many of the old television series also criticized Burton's film for not being a close adaptation of the show. I find their criticisms a little irrelevant, due to the fact that I have yet to see a film adaptation of a television series to be that particularly close to its original source.

The cast for "DARK SHADOWS" is first-rate. Even those performers forced into roles that were not fully explored did a great job. It was nice to see Burton's willingness to use again, actor Christopher Lee, who had a brief appearance as the top fisherman of Collinsport, Maine. I have never seen Jonny Lee Miller portrayed such a negative role like Roger Collins. And despite the minimal exposure, he did a great job of expressing Roger's shallowness and lack of concern for his son and other members of the family. Helena Bonham-Carter was hilariously entertaining as young David Collins' live-in psychiatrist, who developed a crush on Barnabas. It wsa nice to see Jackie Earle Haley again, who was also rather funny as the Collins family's caretaker, Willie Loomis. I wish I could say something nice about Bella Heathcote. But her performance as Victoria Winters struck me as a little too ethereal and . . . wooden. Gulliver McGrath gave a sweet performance as young David Collins, but he did not strike me as particularly memorable.

For me, the best performances came from lead actor Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfieffer, Eva Green and Chloë Grace Moretz. The latter has certainly grown a lot since I first saw her in "KICK ASS", six years ago. I found her take on the fifteen year-old Carolyn Stoddard to be very eccentric (in a positive way). She also seemed to be a younger version of Michelle Pfieffer, who portrayed her imperious mother, Elizabeth Collins Stoddard. I thought that Pfieffer was spot on as the indomitable matriarch of the Collins family, who hid her ruthlessly passionate and maternal nature behind a reserved facade. Eva Green nearly scared me out of my wits with her frightening portrayal of Angelique Bouchard, the witch who developed an obsessive love for Barnabas. Apparently, Angelique's love and hatred proved to be so strong that she continued to slowly destroy the Collins family, long after Barnabas was locked in a coffin. Johnny Depp has portrayed some memorable characters over the years. But I must admit that his take on the Barnabas Collins character has proven to be one of my favorites. The man was superb. I could describe his performance with as many adjectives as possible. But it would take a great deal of my time. All I can say is that I believe he was perfect.

I realize that "DARK SHADOWS" had disappointed many fans of the old 1966-71 television series. And I must admit that I found a few aspects of Seth Grahame-Smith's screenplay rather questionable. But "DARK SHADOWS" proved to be an entertaining movie thanks to Tim Burton's direction, the story's concentration on the Barnabas Collins, Bruno Delbonnel's cinematography and the excellent cast led by the always talented Johnny Depp.